Invasion of the Canadians

"Which one is Canadian?" Neither pay taxes

I have really enjoyed the latest addition to the family. R has added a whole new dimension to the family. Not only his Canadian idiom, but his quick wit and humor. I am not sure how to describe his Canadian ways. Life in Canada is so much like it is here in the States, yet so different. I have yet to be able to visit Canada but N has filled me in thoroughly. One of the differences is a place called "Tim Horton's." I know there are Horton's in the states but they are not the institution they are in Canada. The men visit Horton's at least a few times a day for their coffee needs. (according to a good source the coffee at Horton's is better than anything one can get here in the States) A "double, double" is a National past time, and then in a display that can only be described as Canadian, they tip the drive thru attendant. They take care of their own! The other true Canadian pasttime is getting over on the "Man." I will not divulge any further information than this, "Why pay for it?" Canada does have some of the funniest people just watch "Trailer park Boys." I am not bashing Canada or R I think he is a great guy, I don't know how N stands the constant onslaught of his humor. It truly is never ending and nothing is off limits. Big Momma Gun will calm things down I am sure.

I want to talk about the realignment of powers in the family.
S has always been the head of the family, N and I just kind of go with whatever S wants. Then do what we want when she is not looking. The New addition of R is a breath of fresh air. R doesn't have the respect for S like N and I do. He gives S fits, I love it. For instance, this past Chritmas R and N exchanged all of their gifts before Christmas day. I laughed and thought they were dorks for not waiting. S though said something to R about it in jest. R said "what do you mean, you've had your Christmas gift for over a month."

Canadian's are nothing if they are not quick with a comeback. I am not saying they are smart, I am saying they are quick. If you wish to make fun of a Canadian be prepared for an onslaught of retorts. We are so happy R is family now, but we watch what we say to him. No need to let a Canadian make fun of us, it's bad enough N suffers his Canadian ways.

Just remembered this and wanted to share it. R bought N a beautiful necklace from Tiffany's. It wasn't big enough for N's neck and so they had to have it lengthened. The jewelry shop guy said, "wow your wife must have a big neck?" R retorted "You should see her feet." Gawd I love him. I know he makes fun of me but I don't hear about it and that's Ok with me.

Our Holiday Prayer

This is our Holiday prayer. There never is a dry eye when we are done. It has become a family tradition. This is N saying the prayer at Thanksgiving this year. R was not able to attend.

N and R outside of one of their favorite restaurants in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, Canada on Christmas Eve

Savannah

S took the picture above, it's awesome. If you enlarge it you will see some kind of red berries in the tree

Yesterday, Dec. 22, the Saturday before Christmas, was a dreary, cool, rainy day. This is the day we decided to visit Savannah, Ga. Three hours later we arrived in Savannah to a dreary, cold day.

Ever since we watched the movie, “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” we both have wanted to visit Savannah. The movie kind of instilled preconceived notions of what Savannah, Ga. was going to be like.

We decided to first drive out to Tybee Island to see the beach and take some pictures of the lighthouse. To get there we had to go through town. As soon as we entered the historic district we were immediately engulfed in a sea of green. The Live Oaks laden with Spanish moss covered the road like a tunnel. The Ivy climbing the walls of beautiful homes of unknown age. There were parks every so often placed right in the middle of some of the most beautiful homes we have ever seen. Green was not the only color we were swimming in. The homes were every color you could imagine, pink, white, blue, purple, each one was more beautiful than the last.

We asked directions from a gentleman walking along the boulevard. FYI the route he gave to us took us right past “Uncle Bubbas Oyster House”, . More on that later. Off into the misty, gray day we went. We drove by beautiful marshlands with what looked like a hundred rivers flowing through it this way and that. The road was only a foot or two above sea level. I believe that this area has been underwater many, many times. We wished we had a kayak and some warm weather with us because there was so much to see and explore. Sadly we had neither. So to Tybee Island we went. The island had been battened down for winter but was charming nonetheless. We enjoyed walking around the lighthouse but S has never seen a lighthouse that she didn’t like. It was to cold and blustery for us so we headed back into Savannah.

The streets were alive with Christmas shoppers. The Streets and light poles were all adorned with Christmas décor. It was still raining so we decided to just cruise back and forth through the city. We went down the main street and were amazed at the variety of shops. There were some that you could tell were there for tourist purposes, but they were far outnumbered by many little boutique shops. We think it would take somebody the better part of a few months to peruse all of the shops. I am not an antique shopping kind of guy but I wanted to go into these shops, they looked cool.

We had only been down a couple of streets when she spotted “Mecca” for Southern ladies, Paula Deens “Lady and Sons.” I knew she wanted to see this holiest of places, but I didn’t realize until she laid eyes on it, how excited she would be. Suggestion for those hoping to dine at Paula’s, go in the morning and make a reservation. It wasn’t the dining I was interested in. I wanted to get her a Christmas gift from the store next door. Men, I want to tell you, when I walked in this store the stench of estrogen was so heavy, I thought I was a goner. The women were in a frenzy and the great surprise came when it was divulged to us that Paula had signed all of the cookbooks for sale in the store. My trip had been made because S was happy.

We continued our criss-crossing of Savannah taking in all of the sites. There were a few tour trolley’s going here and there but not many. We were pretty much alone, site seeing at our own leisurely pace. We would stop every so often and she would take pictures while I walked the dog. The parks in this town are beautiful and I would have loved to just sit down and have an iced tea. In one of my conversations with a local they advised me to go to Bubba’s Oyster House for Dinner. We decided to take their advice and headed back out that way.
Bubba’s opens up for dinner at 5pm and we were there like “snowbirds” at 5pm. It was a nice little restaurant very understated set along the marshlands. We were seated and started discussing how many different ways people like their cornbread. (I like mine sweet) The gentleman seated across from me at the next table was a big man. The kind of guy that no matter what your age you answered him yes sir’ or no sir’. We quickly struck up a conversation and found that we were both 3 hours from home because they live minutes away from us here on the Southside of Jacksonville. We chatted as all of us had dinner. BTW I had Shrimp n grits and she had the fried chicken. Boy was it good, I mean if you like this kind of cooking then don’t miss it. I haven’t had a meal this good since I was a kid at grandmas’. They finished their meal before we did and we exchanged pleasantries and wished each other a “Merry Christmas.” We asked the waitress for some to-go boxes and our check. She said well I have a surprise for you. (Later my wife would tell me in confidence that she thought we were their millionth customer, I thought that was funny) Anyway the waitress said that the folks we were just talking to had paid our bill and wanted her to tell us, “Merry Christmas”

Here as of late both of us were really questioning the decency in people. Lo and behold a power much greater than ourselves placed these people in our path to remind us what Christmas is all about. We will never forget this trip or that couple. One day soon I will do the same thing for a stranger. I hope that it brings them as much joy as it brought us.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERBODY

Yearning for Simpler Times

This time every year I have a serious nostalgic breakdown. I was born in 1972. When I was 5 it was completely acceptable for my mother to give me a quarter to go to the local "Bar" to get a yoohoo. No one gave a second look at a kid playing pinball in the bar and more than once a stranger bought me a yoohoo. I loved Bob Seger's "katmandu." I was 5 and I knew all the words. I was a rocker, an under 7, bar fly, with a 2 yoohoo a day habit, rocker.
There was a quality about my grandparents and their generation that I always appreciated. They had seen hard times so they smiled very easily, and were happy to share what they had, but mostly they were hard working. I spent most of my time with their generation. Grandpa liked his beer after work. Grandparents played a vital part of all of my friends lives. Grandpa would give me a few dollars and tell me to run to the store. Down to the little convenient store I would go. He always told me to get myself a candy bar. I would grab a six pack, his favorite being "Pabst blue ribbon" put it on the checkout counter and pay for it. I don't think they ever asked me a question, they just rang it up and off I went. Like I said I was 6 or 7 so the year was 78-79. I pretty much went where I wanted and did what I wanted and no one really messed with me. If I did something stupid, they were waiting on me when I got home, anyone could call and tell on me during this time and it was encouraged. Try calling your neighbors now and telling them little Johnny broke your window, good luck.
I had a bow and arrow, BB gun, Yard Garts, and many implements that could have killed myself or someone else. Once Grandpa decided I was ready I drove almost any vehicle that he had, tractors, boats, trucks whatever he needed me to drive, and again no one said anything. The fact I am here talking about it means that no one was hurt. Television wasn't a very big part of anyone's day except during the holidays. Every holiday they would advertise Frosty or Rudolph and I was beyond excited. At Christmas time, "Frosty the Snowman (69)and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer(64)" reigned supreme. I didn't know they were made while the country was in turmoil, at war. Much like the war we are in now. It makes me happy that they still play these holiday favorites for kids today or maybe they are playing it for my generation, who knows?

My life today. Today I am actually considering paying over $1200 a year to have unlimited access to email, messages, and the Internet via the apple iPhone (which will cost me another $400). (lost my mind?) Yet I miss the simple things. My mind is swimming with some very scary stuff. We are ruining the planet, no bullshit, we are ruining it, the future of this planet hangs in the balance and right now I am concerned with having an iPhone and am ticked off about gas prices. We are in a war we cannot win, people are losing their lives daily and I am upset when my internet connection goes down. Right now there are kids who do not know their grandparents. I miss my grandparents immensely, I imagine many of you do to. What would they think of the world today?

My first Dream about Bear

I was walking along in the woods there were a few homes near by and there he was. He would disappear every once in awhile chasing or sniffing something. He always did this and before I was out of sight he would come running and catch up with me. Most of the time he was walking right there beside me. I got down on the ground with him like we used to do and rubbed his belly and just loved up on him. It was one of the most real dreams I have ever had. I could feel his fur and grabbed his big ol' head. I miss him so much, I love him so much it isn't funny. He has been on my mind all day today and I just wanted to write this down so I don't forget what a wonderful visit I had with Bear last night. Miss you buddy......


I found this picture today and wanted to share it. It represents Florida perfectly.......

The strange world of the internet

My family has befriended a gentleman from New York State. I have never been to New York. N has been but, only to NYC, not out into the state. I have never met this man but we communicate pretty frequently. He is no relation to myself or anyone in my family but he is a friend nonetheless. Our relationship has progressed along a linear path. In the beginning he conversed mostly with the girls N and S. How they met I have no clue. I was slow to accept most things the Internet brought us. As I was slowly being integrated into the information highway this man, whom I will call Frank, started to email myself. Over the years he has shared with me many great emails and family stories or pictures. He sent me my most prized email of all time. All the Playboy centerfolds for about 40 years. I burned these straight to Disc, I don't want to lose these. S doesn't like the fact I made a backup disc, heeee. Nowadays he sends more self reflecting correspondence, introspective, insightful. I, as I am sure many of you do, waste alot of time on the computer. This information age has allowed my family and myself to come to know someone whom we wouldn't have had a chance to know. The friendships made in cyberspace are friendships nonetheless. The more you know the more you grow. Thanks Frank for your friendship my family has appreciated it. Not all my time is wasted on here.......

S the comedian

I just wanted a lil kiss


We were settling in to watch "Its a wonderful life" last night. The scene near the start showing the snowy town and how cold it looks. I remarked (fist I hit pause on the DVR) to S I don't remember what it feels like when its that cold, I don't remember what 30 degrees feels like. Without any hesitation whatsoever, S replied, "Why don't you go stick you head in the freezer and while your at it get me some ice cream." This was one of the funniest things S has ever said. S is usually a quiet person and doesn't say much, but here lately she has been full of one liners. It's nice we are able to play together again.
I thought we were out of the woods of this last Thursdays anniversary. Nope I awoke this morning to find S with a migrane on the couch and looking like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. When her nose is red she is not feeling happy. The one thing I am trying to instill is that we celebrate J's life and not mourn his death. He made us all laugh, cry and mostly drove us nuts.
N & R are flying to Canada tomorrow evening and their flight goes through Boston. They are expecting a Nor'Easter (I like that word) tomorrow evening and that is when they are flying through. So I am a little worried about them flying tomorrow, not so much for them getting stuck in Boston, just a mild concern for their safety.
I hope everyone is in the Christmas Spirit. I have yet to hear Adam Sandlers, "Hannukah" song so until then it is not officially the Christmas season. Love each other......

HDTV and a DVR

I would never describe myself as a TV fanatic. Though my most productive days are when I don't turn the idiot tube on. There has been a development though I want to talk about. We have had a DVR now for 3 years and I don't want to ever go without it again. We haven't watched a commercial in ages. It's beautiful, we just fast forward right through the darn things. It has been a sweet deal especially now we are in the Eastern Time zone, which may as well be the "twilight zone." I hate the ET zone but that's for a later pot. But with the DVR we are able to just set the DVR to record our shows and then watch them whenever we want them, sweet. Recently we have purchased a HDTV, high definition television. I really didn't think it would be a big deal but decided to pick up an HD antenna at the store to see how good the picture is. First before I speak to the picture quality let me explain something. We moved from our house in Illinois that had a movie theater in it. One hundred and twenty inches of high def, movie watching experience. (PS we also coined a new phrase here. I wanted to put in stadium seating but we decided to do two rows one regular seating and the 2nd row a nice bed. We called it "stadium bedding". There is nothing like watching a movie in your PJ"S laid out. Nice, very nice.) So we have discerning eyes when it comes to the images we see. The TV paired with a free off air antenna delivered the best picture I have ever seen. I try to stop talking about it, I feel like a broken record when we watch it. I will constantly say to S, "look at that picture, dang." Now our satelite company has a HD DVR and I am all horned up I can't wait. If you already have seen the HD picture then you know what I mean. If you have yet to upgrade to an HDTV then you are in for a surprise. Man I am wound up about this. I am not sure it is normal for a grown man to be this giddy but I can't stop. HD DVR I am coming hold on. Have a good one all........

Bear

Only those who have lost a loved one will understand this. Bear was my own personal baby. Everyone loved him, I had people ask me if I would sell him. When we found an ad for a rottweiler/husky mix I had no idea what we would see when we went to look at him. When we arrived he and his sister were in a pen under the back deck. Bear was just kind of chilling in the back of the pen and kind of looking at us. I instantly loved the energy of his sister, but S said no that is not your dog, you want the one chilling out. I gave in to S's thoughts and we took Bear. The owner delivered Bear to us in a waffle house parking lot. He was in the back of a truck under a camper shell with a bunch of deer bones, smelling like you can imagine. He didn't want to come out but finally the man cohersed him out and he was ours. Whew, he was ripe so we took him home and I left him with S while I went and got puppy shampoo and food. When I got back he was hiding from S under the sink in the bathroom. He was scared to go through a doorway for the first 6 months of his life. He would whine at night when we were in bed, so I wasn't going to let a dog that was going to be as large as him sleep with us, so down on the floor I went. It was a bad case of love, I loved this dog. He was gentle, rambunctious, kind, sometimes he even looked thoughtful, and he loved the family. "Bear" Our friends, family and just acquaintances would ask "How is Bear?" Every year usually close to hunting season some gentleman would ask me if I would part with him? Not in a million years would I ever consider it. Bear lived with us In Tennessee, Florida, and Illinois. He lived 11 years I believe and it was a wonderful 11 years. He and J became playmates when J moved back in with us. They would play and wrestle. J would practice his Karate on Bear. Bear never knew what to make of it but he was always up for some playing. But most of the time Bear was "laid back" much like me as you found out in my past posts. I lost Bear last year it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It is one thing when someone passes away from sickness but all together different when you have to make the choice to let them go. S and I were right there next to him when he left this world. S, N and I were right next to J when he left this world. I will consider myself lucky if there is anyone next to me when I leave this world. It was today 2 years ago J left us, I like to think they are still wrestling and waiting for us.

First Christmas without the family

This is our first Christmas in a long time we will be spending away from the family. I think S is going to follow my lead here. If I see it as a negative she will follow right along and feel in the dumps. I have been wanting to reconnect with her for a while and this is a great opportunity. She tends to just fall to crap when they leave anyway. I am trying to think up something fun to do since she has 4 days off over the Christmas holiday. We are not far from Savannah, Ga. or Key West, Fl. I personally want to see both but Key West has the added distinction of being a place I want to see before I die. It's on the list in my head. I really should write some of that list down or I will never get around to it. A little side note is this. As I stated in a previous post we are from Illinois and the weather there is horrible right now. Ice storms and freezing temperatures. When I talk to anyone back there on they always tell me about the weather. This does nothing but reinforce my wanting to stay in Florida (especially back on the GOM) Now just to make it clear I am not happy with the 80's we are experiencing here either. It is Dec. we should be in the low 70's which is the weather I love. N and I call it long sleeve t-shirt weather and that my Friends is what dreams are made of. Warm enough during the day to hang out at the beach, cool enough in the evening to wear a sweater or long sleeve t-shirt. This is my Utopia. Anyway the rest of the family is going to have a white Christmas. For us we will probably have a Beach Christmas. 13 days until Christmas and counting.

A fatty fight

I awoke today feeling Blah! You know the feeling where you just don't want to put up with any crap. Mistake number 1, I went back to bed and lingered. I didn't even want to hold my head up. Mistake number 2, I started thinking about "PIZZA." Cheese, cheese, cheese, pizza. I know fatty's worldwide can attest once a food has taken control of your thoughts, you my friend are screwed. I came to the computer looked at the specials at my local pizza haunt. I was getting all jazzed about it. I was to lazy to order and started having an internal conversation. "why do I want pizza?" Why would I want to undermine all the work I put in last week? What the hell is wrong with me? SO I cut a deal with myself, workout and then if I still want pizza I can have it. The workout started by telling myself I am only doing cardio. Then as I got to the end of cardio, I thought I am here let's do this so off to weight training I went. Whew after that I felt alive once again. I came home and grabbed an apple and jumped in the shower. Once I finished sweating which all the other plus size models can attest to, takes a while. I decided hell no I am not eating no pizza. I cannot believe I pulled it out. Usually once a fatty makes a bad choice the day is shot. Not only did I not make the choice but the day was completely saved. I dont even want the pizza anymore. This is a big deal for me, I did it.

Beach time is just a few months away.....(can you believe this is where N and R live)

Christmas

It has changed for everyone for sure. When we are children it is magical. We are so excited by the prospects of seeing family members we have not seen for a while. We just want one minute alone with the presents under the Christmas tree. It is magical and how I wished it would last longer for every child. I loved how much my little sister enjoyed it. I never told her anything, I was not going to be the one to ruin it for her. Since I have no "young" children of my own I have asked friends who do have children how their children changed Christmas for them. One of my friends said that his kids have made Christmas magical again and he loves watching their excitement grow. But there are quite a few parents who seem to dread Christmas. They feel they have to get their child everything they want for Christmas. One friend gives his daughters stickers and catalogs and tells them to put stickers on what they want. Then he feels he must buy them what they marked or he has let them down. Having the perspective that I do and not having any young children of my own I have observed. It is easier to give in the form of gifts (money) than it is to give of ones time. I am horribly guilty of this.
We have a grandson and granddaughter now, R's children. Our grandson remarked to N that he doesn't care if we got him anything for Christmas, he just wants to see us. In an instant "Christmas" came into focus again. It is for myself I say, "Love." I really look forward to the next time I see him and believe that the addition of him and his sister will do nothing but bring our family closer together.

Embrace those you love on this Christmas and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ


I still want a few minutes alone with the present under the Christmas tree

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Consistency

Consistency. One may think consistency is boring and predictable. I contend Consistency is the glue that holds everyone together. It affects every one of us in all aspects of our daily lives. Consistency is what we crave and it starts when we are children. We need consistency in how our parents treat us and discipline us, it has to be the same consequence every time. As a child I tested this tirelessly and was met with the same beating every time. It hurt but hey it was consistent, I knew it was coming. Now as adults we all crave the same consistency in everyday life. When we have dinner out at a restaurant, we usually go to a place we have been before. We order something we have had before and we expect it to taste the same and be the same portion and hopefully the same price as before. I contend this is how the Golden arches have become so popular. If you order a Big Mac in South Jersey or South Dakota, they are the same, they are consistent. Its what we know we want. We are not looking to gamble, we want what we have had before. If I think about it my favorite restaurants, people, and places are consistent. I bet yours are too. There's bills, kids, medical emergencies, on and on, and this affects how we are on a day to day basis. But we all know a few people who are the same every time we see them. You can know for a fact that their life is in turmoil but they smile and give you the same companionship they always have. While we all get pulled this way and that way with each event in life, these people maintain. Some people say that these people just don't sweat the small stuff. I say these people make a conscious effort everyday to be the same person everyday. Now I am the exact opposite of "consistent". One day I will ask how you are? Where you have been? etc. etc. The next day I won't acknowledge your existence. I will be wrapped up in my own life's drama. I truly dislike this aspect of myself and hope to change it "consistently" one day at a time. If you truly think about it the people you have admired most were the same the day you met them as they are today. Consistency is the key.....

Every year its there...



PS- To be a good husband, father, freind, mentor, companion, I have to be consistently there for those I love. Give them the best "me" I can...

House and Home

When does a house become a home? What is it that transforms a structure so much? Is it the time spent there? Is it the people in it? Is it the people near it? I have been pondering this question for a lifetime. You see I grew up here.....(Corn country Illinois)



It is beautiful and it defined my childhood. The snow, the change of seasons, the fall colors. I love many of these people whether they love me or not.The people here are "salt of the earth" people. That is not saying I am salt of the earth people, I said "they are salt of the earth people." I am more sand of the earth. Because you see I found myself here.... (Pensacola Beach)



The beach defines me. "Laid back" I love it, everything about it. I lived here for almost a decade and I loved helping people who are visiting find their way around. I loved helping them find a place to eat. Most of all I loved hearing how much they loved my beach. I have been an on again, off again, Church attendee my whole life. But I have always believed in "God". When I am near the water I am nearer to him. I can't explain it, it is just the way I feel. A local radio station had a tag line they used that summed it up best. "Pensacola beach where hundreds of people live like thousands wish they could" People worked 50 weeks a year to visit my hometown for 2 weeks. This made me very proud!

Back to the original question. What makes a house a home? I have lived in many houses, in many places. Not all of them have been homes, most just stop overs until I get home. Each house I have chose for us to live in has been exactly that a "house." We moved back to Illinois for a few years and what happened? I imagine this has happened to many people. Our families were a let down but the people we befriended were wonderful. Our neighbors, co-workers, poker buddies, all became good friends quickly. Don't get me wrong I love these people but there was this big part of me that wasn't present. It was my heart, which was still at the beach. My head had led us to make the right practical decision to return to Illinois (always believing that it would be easy to get back to Pensacola beach. This was my mistake if you have found someplace you love and someone you love hold on to it because it is not as easy to go back as one would think). But my heart had no part of that decision. I have been away from Pensacola Beach now for 5 years, and all 5 I have wished to be back there. You see for me the difference between a house and a home is that the heart has to be involved for a house to become a home. If you don't love it there and the people around you then it will always be just a house. But when it all clicks and your heart is in it, you are home.

EX- California and New Yorkers

This is something that has tickled me and irritated me for a long time now. Who hasn't met an ex Californian or New Yorker? The conversation turns to where they are from really fast without an inquiry. The New Yorker usually can't hide where they are from, either through their speech, or the huge Yankees insignia plastered everywhere. The Californian on the other hand can blend in well with most people. Once they have stated where they are from without any questioning from you the topic turns to food immediately. With no provocation they will tell you how much better the food is where they are from. The New Yorker will talk about Pizza, and how cool everything was in New York and how close everything is. The Californian will discuss at length how great this carne asada burrito place is in California. They will both discuss at length how they really miss the culture and the arts where they are from. I swear its happened so often it doesn't faze me anymore. I am not going to lie I want to visit New York and see what all the hype is about. Since I was a child the "Macy's Thanksgiving day parade" has been a staple of every Thanksgiving Holiday. A professor in college stated that California is made up of people who want to start over or are trying to leave something behind, "The mecca of the lost children." The point I want to get to is this. Both sets of folks really love where they are from, it is so much better, and everything is great there. What the hell are they doing in my town? That was fun I always wanted to discuss this.

Happy Holidays

The Future

I have spent the better part of a 1/3 a century waiting for the "future". What happened while I was waiting for the future. I sure in the hell wasn't living. I have always thought that when "this or that happens everything will fall into place" my years have taught me one thing, nothing ever falls into place its just how you deal with it that decides how happy you are during your life. My life up until now has been waiting until I finish Law School. Sadly my wife has bought into this up to a point so now there are two of us not so much living as existing waiting for the future. I fear this has also afflicted N, we are always waiting on something I know this. It's what we do while we are waiting that marks our life. My family wants to live near each other, I want to be healthy, I need to finish law school, N wants her back to feel better. All of this is in some far off place we call the "future". the reality here is the future is decided by our priorities. We are where we are because of choices we have made in the past. The point we all need to realize is this (including me) the "future" is today, today is your life, today is my life. The good Lord never guaranteed tomorrow or that our loved ones will always be there. He provides the opportunity to be "you" and "you" decide your future. I am So glad to be on this journey.

You never know what the future holds, do you?

A Healthy me

One of the reasons I started this blog is to record the journey from an overweight out of shape man into a healthy and alive man. Today was the third day of my workouts consisting of lifting weights and doing aerobic exercise. Three days of not putting any garbage in my body. Everything I have ate is thought about beforehand. I still twice now have started to make a 2nd serving but each time so far I have stopped myself. If I am still hungry later I will eat a little meal again. That's my approach frequent small meals. Today as I was lifting I really felt my body and under all of the fat I have a solid body that is trying to get out. I really love my body I am more powerful than I give myself. I stopped taking care of my body awhile ago and now it is time for me to make it up to myself. So far so good. Many would discount 72 hours as not being much but I would say that those who have tried to change their lives "72 hours is a new beginning." I am not waiting until Monday again or until it is more convenient. The next 9 months are completely mine to do with what I want. I want to lose this weight, prepare myself for law school, and rekindle the romance in my relationship. This is the "to do list" for me. Its mine I want it so bad its there for me to take it.


J and Jimmy V

Family

The picture in my last post is of me and my family. We are a unique family in many aspects. The woman on the right of the picture is my wife of 17 years. That's me in the hat, Bumble if you will. The woman on my left is our daughter N, she is older than myself, and she is my best friend. The young guy on the left is our son J he passed away 2 years ago the 13th of this month. This picture portrays a family that was pretty happy. We had all just moved in together again to make going to school and taking care of J easier. I'll fill in the gaps as they come along. The point I want to make today is my family, I believe, is the best family I could have ever hoped for. You see we are all best friends and love each other immensely. I have seen many families who do not get along or do not speak etc. etc. But my family we are so happy when we are near each other. There are few of us but we love each other so much it works. As I stated J is no longer with us and the process of losing him was a long and arduous journey. When I think about that time it is a blur for me. There was nothing I could do for my family so I just basically existed in an alternate life while we all went through this tragedy. I wasn't a friend to anybody during this time. If it weren't for those outside of our family pressuring me to not sit around and sulk daily I don't know if I would be here writing this. I am very happy to say that the 3 of us left in the family have reconnected. I didn't know if it was going to happen but it did. We just spent 2 months together over the holidays while N had surgery and recovered. I am happy to see N return to somewhat normal everyone else in the family worried she was falling into a depression that none of us could do anything about. N pulled out and then got married to R so we have a new member of the family whom we are trying to assimilate into our lives. It must be hard for him to try to fit in with a family that has experienced so much and are so close. We welcome him with open arms. Today N and R live many, many miles away (the picture in my header is from where they are) and we fear we will not ever live close to each other again. Such is life. What I still regret is during that time we were all living together we did not (me included) appreciate one another and enjoy our lives together. Now of all times when we are all so far apart, I realize how much we mean to one another and the opportunity we missed. Its been 2 years and I am finally feeling the loss of J. I hadn't until now taken the time to miss him or internalize the reality of his being gone. My wife has never recovered and I am sad to say I fear she will never be the same. (I miss her) Worrying about her and what she has experienced has kept me from dealing with my feelings. I guess I also fear that I may irrevocably change myself. N being one of my best friends also changed and has been different for a long time now and I want to ask her how she is but I think if she opened up that she wouldn't stop crying. Its 2008 and there is one thing certain, nothing is certain, except I love my family S, N, and R.



the newest members of our family

My first post

What to write about? My thoughts run rampant much like a Seinfeld episode. Not really reaching any conclusions just rambling. Who knows where the next thought will lead. I have many things I wish to talk about but only so many hours in the day. I am treating this like my personal journal about the journey I am on. I will be writing about alot of inane BS that is my life.

Hope-to expect with confidence

Here is a list I am trying to incorporate into my life

1. My happiness is completely up to me
2. Pursue interests and have fun
(I need to find out what I am interested in)
3. Taking care of myself will lead to taking care of my family
4. It's time to either get busy living or get busy dying
5. The people in my life will be more happy if *I* am more happy
6. My loved ones will be OK if I pursue outside interests it is not being selfish
7. Freedom from worry is the result of my pursuing my happiness
8. Feeling good = Looking good
9. I will honor myself and my loved ones by making the most of every moment

My likes and interests to come

the family