Where do you want to live?

In My family I am the question meister. It always gives me an insight into where their heads are at. There is a litany of questions I ask. The “Bucket List” question, The 5 people dead or alive that you would want to have dinner with question and so forth. Here as of late going home has been at the forefront of our minds and so I thought I would pose the question to my family. Name the top five places that you would want to call home? The only stipulation being that it has to be a place you have visited, therefore you have firsthand knowledge of the place and aren’t just dreaming it would be a place you would want to live. I posed the question first to my darling wife S.

S Name the top five places you want to live? As in call home:
1. Greyton Beach, Florida – We have all been here except R. I look forward to taking R here.The link will introduce you to this wonderful place.

2. Savannah, Ga. – We just recently visited this Charming Southern town and it would be a wonderful place to call home. The architecture alone is worth a trip.

3. Rapid City SD – S's memories of this place and surrounding areas are almost enough to make me want to brave the winters there. (But not quite enough)

Rapid city- this picture is outdoor D approved

4. Gulf Breeze, FL. – Ah our true first stomping ground on the Gulf of Mexico. This town is home through and through. We know every nook and cranny in this town and love them all. Especially a Greek restaurant called the “Aegean breeze”

5. San Diego, CA- S and N visited this wonderful place a few years ago and both loved it. The ocean, mountains, desert, and Mexico all within a day trip. They didn’t make it to the Zoo. If I ever have the opportunity I would love to see this place. N kissed a Mexican and they ate tacos out of an alley, any wonder N is so weird. The nut doesn't fall to far from the tree. Yes S I am talking about you.

Surprised me- I would have to say it is quite obvious. All of these places have one thing in common, the ocean. Rapid City, South Dakota out in the heart of the country really threw me for a loop. It must be a beautiful place for S to have put it 3rd on her list.

Next I asked N the same question.
1.New York City, NY – Both S and I were blown away. I didn’t see this coming at all. But when N describes how much she loves that city it does sound quite exciting. Plus she’s already one of those weird women who take their small dogs everywhere with them. Freak. She’s going to be one eccentric old woman; you can take that to the bank.

2. Gulf Breeze, FL.- ah the same as S’s number 4 hmm

3. New Orleans, La.- I think my whole family loves this city but the rest of us would be scared to live there but N would be right in there with her little dog, freak. Seriously though what a great town we haven’t been there since Katrina and cannot even imagine the devastation.

4. Saint Augustine, FL.- the historical part of this town is so funky and fun. It is really a unique little town with a thriving historical district. The lighthouse here is magnificent also. The one major flaw is that is is on the Atlantic and everybody knows we are Gulf of Mexico people.
5. Greyton beach/ undecided

Surprised me- NYC I didn’t see that one coming. I have never visited the place but have concerns about the livability of the city. If I could afford a view of something green (central park) then maybe, but otherwise NO. N would be happy looking at a brick wall above a smelly Chinese restaurant with that damn dog.

I then posed the question to R. Well not really, N asked R for me. R and myself do not have the kind of relationship where we talk to one another, we just communicate through N. We try don’t get us wrong but alas no speaky, speaky with R. R is very judicious with his words and his answer was also judicious.

1. Gulf Breeze, FL.- Is that the right answer? Yes R it is, thank you very much for your time

2 – 5 undetermined at the time of this post
Surprises- Yes the omission of Cape Breton, NS, one of the prettiest places on the face of this earth. I really thought this place would have made his list.

Then there was myself. Here are my answers.

1. Greyton Beach, FL.- A slice of heaven that we have fallen in love with along one of the most beautiful stretches of beach you will ever find.

2. Gulf breeze, FL. – Made all of the lists hmmm, makes me wonder

3. Nashville, TN- this city is the bomb. I love this town and some of our best friends live there. Where else could you run into Garth Brooks picking up a chain saw and bump into Faith Hill grocery shopping? A town is only as good as its people and this town is the best. If you put the ocean next to this city I would have never left it.

The Ville.

4. Savannah, Ga.- This place is alive with history. The homes seem to be alive, there seems to be more there than meets the eye. The live oaks and Spanish moss are everywhere and it may be one of the most beautiful downtowns in the Southeast. The lifestyle here is definitly genteel.

5. I thought about it and if I am living in the 5th place city then I will be unhappy. To be honest if We don’t live in the top 2 I will continue writing these lists until we do.
Thank you everyone for your insights…

A couple of things I love about the South

In Louisiana you can go through a drive through and pick up mixed drinks (hurricanes being a favorite). Many of them have two for one happy hours. We always wondered how they did this and we figured it was because they gave it to you in a sealed container and it is probably illegal to put the straw in it while driving.

Approximately 600 miles from Dsnylnd (misspelled on purpose) you begin seeing signs along interstates advertising how to get cheaper tickets and even cheaper T-shirts. Come on, how can anyone pass up 5 T-shirts for 10 dollars? So being 600 miles from said destination you have approximately 9 hours to look forward to the cheap T-shirts and mouse.

Nowhere else have I ever been that had more interesting side orders at restaurants. You want a stack of pancakes honey? They come with 2 biscuits and jelly. Well Duh! Everybody knows that after you have pancakes, you want biscuits.

To enjoy a great glass of iced tea in the South is to enjoy sweet tea and here is how you know the person you are dining with is truly Southern. If they can drink this very sweet concoction and eat a piece of pecan pie at the same time without wincing. My friend you are dining with a true Southerner.

My favorite thing about the South is the phone calls from our Northern neighbors. Discussing the weather is always a great time.

Hard reset for self-preservation?

When you hear the term hard reset in our household it is in reference to all of our electronic gadgets. When you do a hard reset the item loses all memory and information that it once held. I contend that when people become parents they go through a hard reset. We have many friends who have children and are completely in the dark about what their children do. One close friend contends that a piece of jewelry they gave their daughter represents the daughters promise to not have sex before marriage. They are a good Christian family. I really like this family but what the heck are they thinking? First things first their daughter has gone away on many trips with her boyfriend. Second the child confided in us she has been having sex for a while. Did our friends forget what its like to be late teens or early twenties. Sex is at the forefront of their thoughts. We have a unique perspective with most of our friend’s children. They tend to confide in us what they are actually doing. Which leaves us to tell or not tell our friends. I will say we pass along the information if one of the kids is in danger but even when we do this the parent is in denial. What they are doing in reality and what their parents think they are doing are at different ends of the spectrum. Not my little Bobby or Betsey they wouldn’t do this. We have had friends actually ask their children in front of us what they were doing just minutes after the kid told us. The child knows to never tell the truth because this idiot in front of them doesn’t want to hear it. Sure enough every time it has happened the parent is happy and relieved that their kid said they are not drinking, having sex, or going to parties with no adult supervision. Has it been so long since they were a teen that they have forgotten what it is like to be a walking hormone or have they decided to choose ignorance? Face it if your child is going out socializing then they are facing all of these situations regularly. Don’t think they are not doing any of them. Do them a favor wake up and remember what is was like when you were their age. Choosing to believe that your child doesn’t face these challenges usually means they are facing them on their own with no input from you. Parents need a big dose of reality. Or my earlier hypothesis holds true that the parents were hard reset.
Be kind and love one another….

So Fresh and So Clean

This is a Picture of Downtown that S took. Isn't she a photog



It truly is the little things in life that make me happy. I am now in command of our homes daily maintenance. This has been known as “cleaning house” by many but I prefer the term home maintenance. I have had this job for quite awhile even though my wife tries to take credit. If you know our family, then you know better, she is one of the worst spouses when it comes to pitching in around the house. This has taught me an invaluable lesson. I will not let everything fall on her shoulders as I start out in the working world. It is just too much for one person to do. It is one of the most thankless jobs anyone ever does. She did recently thank me for “maintaining the house” and I felt like a kid receiving a gold star. If there were one thing, one task daily I could outsource my friends it would be…drum roll please! Cleaning the kitchen! I have no problem cooking and preparing the meal but afterwards the damn kitchen is a mess. Of all the domestic maintenance I do it’s the dishes I hate the most. Off everyone goes with their bellies full and there I am cleaning their nasty plates. I could strangle all of them. Ok there is just one, her, but I could strangle extras I am that p—ed off. Here lately we have fallen into a wonderful groove. If one of us is in the kitchen prepping or cleaning the other kind of comes and helps out. I find myself not as angry when she is right there with me. It’s a task that has to be done but no one wants to do it. But it is so much easier next to each other than when one of us is off relaxing. We both revealed to one another that when we are left alone in the kitchen cleaning, that at that moment, we hated the other who wasn’t.

Back to my original thought. I changed the sheets yesterday on our beds and there is not much in this world that makes me happier than lying down in clean, great smelling sheets. Sheer Joy, I just lie there and breathe it in. I truly love it and would love to change the sheets daily. But I know slowly it would become like the dishes and fall into an abyss of anger and self-pity. So, for now once a week is ok with me. I always look forward to clean sheets.

Time and Money, Money and Time

The Great Conundrum for most of us, typical Americans. If you find yourself with a lot of one, then you are usually very short on the other. Time and money.
The greatest crime against humanity is the salaried worker. Sadly I believe I am heading right towards this, a sad ending to a pretty good life. The salaried worker gets paid X dollars no matter how many hours a week they work.

For example I have a very close friend who makes 35k a year for a very well known worldwide corporation. He works a typical 60 hours per week. He usually only has one day off a week, so lets look at this mathematically. He doesnt even take the usual 2 weeks off. (cant afford it)
He is management making $10.00 per hour of his life. To make the same living but work a regular 40 hour week he would have to have a $15/ hour job. This is not outside the realm of possibility except; the salaried worker is a rat seeking the same reward over and over. You see his check is the same every time and that makes him feel safe. So the Gianormous Corporation has him trained. Who could find another job while working 60 hours a week anyway? When would you have time? So in this scenario he has neither time nor money. I am not sure the salaried worker can lead a balanced life. Its as if the corporation owns you!

Another close friend is an hourly worker who is offered 20 plus hours of OT a week. He can’t get enough of it, complains if he doesn’t get all of it. He is making an astronomical amount of money for his profession. Here’s the hook, his wife is at home 60 hours a week waiting for him. He has no real life of his own beyond work. When he does have time off he’s trying to pay off the guilt of not being there for his family. He has plenty of money but no time, no one is happy.

I am trying to position myself before entering the “rat race” to be able to live a balanced life with time for work and time for myself. I don’t think this entails getting up super early or going to bed super late. This entails something that flies in the face of our modern lifestyle. Ready, OK, here it goes. You have to give up the desire for material possessions and keeping up with the Joneses. You have to ply your own path. You have to find what is important to you and find a standard of living that will allow you to have the time you want and the money you need to live on. Some people can live on amazingly little money because they don’t consume much.

Wish me Luck……..

Another way to approach this is to move out of the U.S. I have researched and found many sources detailing the amount of vacation that other countries give their workers. In Europe it is not uncommon for a worker to have 6 weeks paid vacation off per year. Here is an interesting tidbit. Did you know that Europe has adopted a 35-hour workweek?
Japan is right behind us in time worked. They mandate that their workers have 25 paid days off

I haven't always been a fatty

I have friends that have been heavy their whole lives and I wonder often if it is better to have been healthy and then heavy or to always have been heavy. Psychologically how does this affect our personalities, our relationships, most of all our self-esteem? I can’t answer for those who have always been heavy but I can answer for those of us who have not always been heavy…. Or should I say fat… its my blog so fat it is.

I was very outgoing and always the center of the party. I didn’t meet a stranger and could fit into almost any situation. My friends were older, younger, across the spectrum. I never really worried about how I looked. Unbeknownst to me I was a decent looking guy and was just rolling with the punches. I played sports and was always into something, basketball, whatever and I even had a stint of running. I liked running a lot it was surreal. There I would be, on an old country road, in the middle of nowhere, just running. I loved it.

I was married at the age of 18 and have been for 17 years. She loved me I had no idea why. She is a helluva cook, man the things she would make were so damn good. I ate it up and got bigger every day. I was a mammoth of a man at the age of 23 well over 400 lbs. At this time my confidence was good. Why you ask? Because I didn’t know I was so fat. In my head I was still that guy running around being charming. But the outside world saw a fatass. I mean it in the worst possible way. I was and am today a fatass. I don’t understand how S loved me through this I didn’t love myself.

I had enough and off to Jenny Craig I went. We walked out of JC with a lot less cash and some dog food. It’s easy to lose weight when the food you eat sucks. I did it for about a week and said that’s not for me but I get the jest of the program. I started working out and developed a nice physique. In about a year I was back to about 200 lbs. I would say I was in the best physical shape of my life. My confidence was off the charts, here I was, and I overcome this horrible fate of being fat. People looked at me different, spoke to me different, and just all around acted different towards me. The fat me was dead, long live the new kick ass me. I was a gym rat, we played tennis, and we went to the beach and were always doing something.

I had a bad couple of years with personal issues and the weight came back with a vengeance. S never said anything to me about my weight. Sometimes I wish she had but I don’t know how I would have reacted. S is horrible about telling me things, she doesn’t say a word, I hate that. I make it a point to tell her if something is awry. I want her to always look her best and she does look good. So here I am heavy again, angry and pathetic. The world once again does not see me. I am a walking invisible man, a very large invisible man. I am recently back on the bandwagon of eating right and exercising. I did it once I can do it again!

I have seen the world through a healthy mans eyes and through a fat man’s eyes. If I could change anything it would be to have never become fat. It truly is the most crippling disease there is in this world. (I am not just talking about the health hazards but the psychological hazards) It is hard to go outside every day and face the world. Other’s can say, “Oh I have a thyroid problem,” or a litany of other maladies. But to just be fat like me is the worst, there is no excuse for me sitting here fat.

I think those that have always been fat have come to identify themselves as the "fat person" and are scared of the people they would become without that blanket to protect them...... Sick I know but I think its the truth

A Christmas Trip Relived

Before

ME: Are you ready for the trip? Christmas in Canada?

N: I am *excited*. Laundry is done (putting towels in the dryer now) dishes done, showers done, blue is ready. Any time I sit down he's in my face licking, trying to put on my jewelry (thinking maybe it's his collar or harness?) he's on full alert.
10:03 AM mass exodus. Steve is on another flight. We’ll stop in the taxi to pick him up and that's it. I’m sooooooo excited! eeeek! i want to make lots of holiday decors with jos. i can't wait. Snowflakes and glitter and popcorn here I come!!!!

During

ME: Let us know when you get settled in and how everything is

N: My lips are cracking. My eyes burn. My nose is full and also burning. Ohhhh Caanadaaaaa.....I'm using lip gloss like a junky. Looking into getting something to wet my nostrils with. My God in Heaven this place is dry. We have no Internets yet and hope to pick up a calling card today. We have Nieceys phone so I can call once we get a card. Today we are picking up Jos and doing the swim party thing and then a little shopping and back to New Glasgow. Blue is doing well. He is in full-on DO NOT LEAVE ME mode and I don't blame him, it's a nice place to visit but please don't leave us here. I miss y'all. I saw there was a BIG explosion there yesterday... anywhere near the house? I figured it was North but wasn't sure, it was a blurb on CNN. Wish you could come visit and put your moisturizer to the test!!! Heehee!
Ok..
Until next time... love love love you both.
xoxo

After

With your every correspondence you made your Christmas in Canada sound so bad and I wonder were you doing that for our benefit so we didn't miss you so much because if that’s what you did it worked a little but we still missed you all.
Love D

N: No, it pretty much sucked. I just dont think we can visit there together. I missed you both a ton. The trip wouldn't have been so bothersome if I had *my* people around.
Love ya..

ME: Are you excited about going back to Canada this summer?

N: Yes I cant wait it is going to be so much fun.

The benefits of a short memory in a marriage are everlasting

Good Bye 2007! Hello 2008…..

The Future is so bright....



What are the events that make a good year?
- When roll call comes on New Years day if you can answer “here” my friend you have had a good year. It’s even better if there is someone with you, who loves you.
- When your family is healthy, you can say you had a good year?
- When you have hope and excitement for the year to come, you have had a great year.

Is time going faster or are you going faster?
- I hear this more often the older I get, “wow, the year just flew by.” Did it? The last I checked there was still 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour and the clock has not sped up or slowed down since we started keeping time. For my family it was a long year of adjusting to new circumstances and long distance family ties. But it was a long year with many ups and downs. If I made a resolution it would be to start enjoying both the ups and downs of life and “Living in the moment” I believe that when you live in the moment you live a complete life.

What we want for the New Year?
- We want to spend more time with our new in-laws and Son
- We badly want our family to be back near one another again…soon.
- We want to get the Law school train going even if that is not the destination but only the journey to where we will live.
- S, I, and I daresay the kids want to go home. When I say go home I mean “put down roots.” Be somewhere long enough to feel connected to it and to the people around us. This we desperately need.

What we want for you?
-Be happy, be healthy, and love one another. This is your one trip make it count

Happy New Year everybody!



Here is a picture of home taken by Barrier Island Girl