Life without a Wife

For the next 10 days I am wife-free. The beautiful misses is off in Bermuda visiting loved ones. 10 full days of not having to cook or clean. I will let my beard grow to Grizzly Adams proportions. I will scratch myself and make manly noises without any shame. (Because sometimes I do have shame, sometimes) If I don’t plan these next 10 days out they will pass by and the only thing I will have done is try the new Samuel Adams Summer beer. Note to self, pick up some Samuel Adams beer.
So here is the playbook as I see it. It will be ever evolving and changing, don’t think of it as a static plan but as a flowing life form, ever changing and reinventing itself. I am going to keep my notes on the happenings here for everyone to follow along and live vicariously through me (or just laugh at me). SO First things first I have to get the house nice and clean. Why, you ask? Because I can’t do anything when I know my house is dirty. Hush, hush, and don’t make fun of me it’s an issue I am dealing with.

Here is what has happened thus far:
1. I removed all of her bedding from the bed so I can dominate the whole King size bed. I do enjoy using all of the bed its a little treat as far as I am concerned.
2. I cleaned one of the bathrooms already and designated it as off limits. No one will use this bathroom until the lady of the house returns.
3. I have decided that mans best friend can share the bed while I am alone so that means at some point the dog needs a good bath.
4. I consumed maximum portions at “Flavors” Indian restaurant so I will not have to cook anything this evening. This is kind of Guy code, eat out so you don’t have to clean. This will become vital after I clean the kitchen at some point. Because I don’t want to clean it twice.
5. I have laundry going. I am going to try to get everything in the house clean and then just wear 2 pairs of underwear while I am alone. One pair for when I am home and the other for when I go out. This is a model of efficiency that I believe will produce the best results.

A few issues have already arisen. The first is I don’t know where we keep most of our stuff. I was able to find the cleaning supplies but sadly I am not sure how to use some of them. The second is I have made a stand over the past year to not deal with Tupperware (or Tupperware type stuff). So I have no idea where it goes or even how to stack all of it once I find it.

Tomorrow has a couple of decisions for me to make. I am either going to Wal-mart to pick up a few items or I will go to a strip club. One place is full of people who look beat down and sad with their lives, but they have cheap food. The other has naked women, lol.
So I will probably go to Wal-mart. If anyone has any suggestions, let them fly.

Honey if you read this, where do we keep the Tupperware?