I hate kids

It is no secret that I love Florida. The sights, the tourists, the smells, all of it I just love it. We are living temporarily in Saint Augustine, Florida and we are in a hornets nest of children. They are young children, each house in our neighborhood having the requisite 3 to 4 children each. I didn’t think I disliked children, but guess what I do! I would like to beat most of their asses. Oh sure there are the little cute ones that are to young to irritate me but I can see it in their eyes they are just going to grow into irritating lil shits. But that is not what I wanted to discuss here. I wanted to discuss the schools of Florida.
Growing up in the Midwest there were standards that we all adhered to. There were no children out and about during the weekdays from the early morning until at least 3pm. Some of us would stay even later at school for practices or detention and not get home until much later. If there was a child out of school during these times there had better be a good reason. On the few occasions I had to go to the orthodontist it was quite apparent there were no other children around during this time because they all were in school.
Now here in the beautiful Sunshine state the children are always milling about at all times of the day. Monday at 11am in wal-mart there will be children running around. Wednesday 1pm there will be children playing in the streets with their friends. There is no time that you are safe from the little bastards they are everywhere. When I was a child they had something called a truancy officer. It was this person’s responsibility to make sure that the kids that were missing school were accounted for. This would be unrealistic here because no one knows when the kids are supposed to be in school. I think the schools here just send up a bat signal and the kids decide if they want to go or not. The old school day of 8am to 3pm is dead and long live the “whatev” school day. So now those children who don’t want to go to school just blend in because there are children milling about everywhere all times of day. Later on I will discuss the traffic jams soccer moms create because their kids are to good to take the bus. I say beat’em until they start acting right – and I am talking about the moms

This little tidbit was a part of the SNL skit discussing Home schooling:

They have decided that parents who teach their children need to have credentials to do so. One home schoolers parent responded:
"This is just like what the Nazis did to the Pilgrims in 1876"

SNL hasn’t been funny for a long time but this had me rolling off the couch.