Stinky Pete

I wanted to write about today so that in the future when I think I am having a bad day I can read this and realize everything is pretty good. This story actually begins yesterday and has just continued throughout today.

It was S’s day off and I was excited about that but I didn’t let that stop me from working out. S slept while I was at the gym, or so I thought. I put her to bed before I left thinking to myself how perfect, she can sleep whilst I purge myself of all the toxins I ingest. When I arrived home from my workout she was dead asleep, like I put my hand in front of her face to see if she was breathing asleep. She was out! I proceeded to shower and take care of this and that until I was ready to leave. I had a few errands I wanted to do, returning shoes, getting some Greek food for lunch, taking S by the Pharmacy to pick up some meds. Just good time spent together kind of a day.

When I woke her up she was groggy and disheveled (I like the word disheveled). She then began to explain to me that she had been cleaning up after Petey the entire time I had been gone. He had been sick multiple times around the house and she was understandably upset. So my first plan had failed she had not slept while I worked out. I believe that shortly after she awoke Petey reminded us he still had some food in him. So S cleaned that, I offered to help but she was livid (another word I like, Livid) and was not going to have it. I suggested that we keep Pete in his kennel whilst we were gone so as to stop the barrage of carpet cleaning. S looked at me like I said, “lets kill the dog” it was decided that was a stupid idea.

So I figure this day is only going to get better, so off we went to return shoes and get yummy Greek food. We had spent too much time cleaning up after Peter and were now hungry so we decided to do the shoe return after lunch. So off to downtown Saint Augustine we went. I, Just making small talk said, “You know everyone says Saint Augustine is a tourist trap.” We agreed it was not in fact a tourist trap and were excited that we were so smart. We arrived at the area where the Greek restaurant is located to find that Saint Augustine is in fact a tourist trap and it was a very effective tourist trap seeing as there was nowhere to park and the tourists were everywhere. So the Greek restaurant plan died. We quickly devised a plan to go to another restaurant based on one of S’s friend’s recommendations. When we arrived it was an “N” type of restaurant, I would like it but it was not a restaurant S would like. I saw it in her face and knew there was nothing she wanted in that hippie dive. Plan aborted again. At the end of the strip mall the hippie place was in there was a chicken wing place and I know that my S loves chicken wings. It was OK but the fact that we were both wearing white shirts and got buffalo sauce all over ourselves didn’t help at all. This plan succeeded and then quickly failed.
To recap we were 0 for 4 for the day.

With Buffalo sauce all over us the shoe return had been canceled. If your keeping score that’s another one down. It was at this point S and I were not sure why we were together and were considering separation. The rest of the day tanked. When we arrived home Petey had decorated many more spots on the carpet with what I can only call his artistic side. I dared not say a word about the kennel for fear of my life. S was super pissed I mean wanted to kill pissed. The rest of the day was a lost cause.

I decided to kennel Petey for the night and he did well with no issues. When I awoke and let him out he did his business and I decided to cordon him off in the kitchen where it is all tile. On recommendation from N, I made him some rice and he immediately returned it to the floor, thank goodness it was on the tile. After that I decided to take him to the Vet. The Vet decided that it is either gastroenteritis or there is an obstruction.

I have been cleaning up vomit throughout the day and am hoping that Pete gets to feeling better by tomorrow or he goes back to the Vet.

Damn you Bin Laaden DAMN YOU

Orlando

Is there any question these two make a perfect couple? The similarities are remarkable. (our SIL doesn't swim and doesn't show off so these pictures are top secret)

Errlando, well actually it was Kissimmee which is where the black hole is located. By black hole I mean where people and cars disappear for long periods of time with no explanation. R and N decided to rent a house and visit with their extended family. This was all new to us, the whole go somewhere and set up shop like we “kind of live there.” R and N have perfected this and seemed at ease during the visit. We are much more of the drop our bags and hang out vacationers, whereas they are drop their bags and run vacationers.
Let me discuss the high points of the trip. We were able to meet R’s sisters and their husbands. This was the first chance we have had to meet them and we really enjoyed their company. They were all so different yet so much alike. The fact they are Canadians may have hampered our countries relations but I think for the most part everything went well. We went to SeaWorld and watched the Shamu show. I have been to SeaWorld on 3 separate occasions and each time the Shamu show has affected me emotionally and this time was no different. I was fearful that I would be the only person who was affected by the show but at the end of the show everyone in our group was teary eyed. R rented a sweet ass ride, a convertible Chrysler crossfire that did 113 mph with no trouble.
This is what the kids looked like for most of the trip.

We also dined at Maggiano’s Italian restaurant, one of our favorite places, and had a wonderful time visiting with one another.
Now let me discuss the low points. I would venture a guess that the whole city of Orlando is a large parking lot but in particular the area we stayed in was terrible. For even minor trips to the grocery store or to pick something up was a major incident. The traffic was unbearable and when we thought we were free of the traffic by making it to a major interstate (I-4) oh how wrong were we, the traffic just continued. We ran all over the damn city looking for this and that. Thank the Lord that R had a GPS or we would have found nothing. R and N missed their flights multiple times. R drove off from a gas station with the gas nozzle still in the tank. Thankfully it broke away easily as they drove off.

What made it all worthwhile? N got to visit with her aunt Fran. We were able to meet R’s family. We were able to get to know R better. Last but not least the house they rented had a pool. Yes when all else failed, and we were all getting on each other’s nerves, the pool saved all. So if I could just make an observation it would be that a pool is an integral part of a good vacation.

PS- R claims to not be able to swim, what we witnessed was R swimming and putting on a show for everybody. Canadians may not like showing off but R definitely does.

Decisions, Blessings or Curses?

When we are faced with decisions most everyone will choose what is the “perceived” best decision at that moment in time. This brings with it the old adage of “be careful what you wish for.” But what happens when many years pass between the initial decision and the actual execution of that decision. Many people choose to marry someone they think is the perfect mate only to realize later that they made the wrong decision and end up divorced. That may be to generic of an example but it rings true for all decisions. I chose a long time ago to be an attorney, the beginning of college to be exact. All of my grades had to be perfect so I could go to Law School. Everything I achieved while in college was with the sole intent of becoming an attorney. Since graduating many things have changed in my life and my relationships. People who I thought would still be here are gone, best friends are no longer a part of my everyday life, my family is completely different than the day I made the decision to be an attorney. So it goes without saying that my motivations then and now have changed. Those who have careers already would probably switch places with me in a heartbeat to have the decisions that I do. I actually have quite a few friends and family who could face this same decision at a moments notice. But having these options are as much a burden, as it is something to be envied.
If decisions are made based on the information available at the time and the desired outcome of that decision. Then that decision is only right at a certain point in time in ones life. The information and desired outcome can change at a moments notice. This has led to paralysis in my ability to make a decision.
My information was this. I really didn’t care whether I had much time for my family when I decided to be an attorney. The money was at the forefront of my decision followed closely by the prestige and importance of being an attorney. At the time I had dreams of flying all over the world settling multi-million dollar cases while living the high life. My personality at the time of the decision was perfectly tuned to be an attorney. I wasn’t interested in making the world a better place, I was interested in making money and if that meant someone lost their life savings because of it, so be it. Living close to family was very low on my list of importance. I could easily revert to this person without losing sleep and I know money can do that to a person.
Today is a much different scenario. I am not a better person than I was, just in a different situation. My family has become very important to me (sad that it took so long but true) I want to have as much time as possible with my wife and kids doing the things we love. I want to spend as much of my life as possible in, on and near the ocean. I want to set us up for a low stress lifestyle. My focus is on simplifying our lives and enjoying our time together. I want to choose a career that will allow me the flexibility to live anywhere. Having a lot of money would be nice but it is not the most important thing. As long as we have the basics covered with enough to travel a bit then things will be good, actually they will be great. So it is with these new parameters that I enter the decision making process once again. It is this decision I am faced with and have to make within the next few weeks. I haven’t been praying about it enough but just realized that and will start tonight.
What I want, my wife, and children all near the beach doesn’t seem like much. But I imagine that this is close to being everyone’s dream and only a few ever attain it. I know if I can pull this off that the joy my family and myself will experience will be greater than anything we could ever imagine.

Family

Click to enlarge and see Saint Louis Easter 2008

I used to get a little sad around the holidays because my family is so small. I grew up with multitudes of aunts and uncles but they along with most of that generation are long gone. By the way that is a sad statement in itself because they were an awesome generation. I held them in high regard. Today my family consists of many fewer members. As most of you know we lost J 1 ½ years ago and 1 year ago we gained R. So our numbers have been whittled away to four. This bothered me for a long time and I worried about not having the social net that we all need. This Easter for the first time the numbers didn’t matter to me, for the first time I am happy because the quality of the people in my family. I would rather have 3 outstanding family members with me than have a 100 that I don’t like. I have come to realize it is rare indeed to like your family. I can’t tell you how many family functions I have been to where you can just see that the people don’t want to be together. If it weren’t for the holidays then these people would only see each other at funerals. I haven’t been thankful in the past for my family but that is because I never realized how great they are. I know in a pinch we are all there for each other in good times and bad. I didn’t have to search for Easter eggs this year to find my surprise it has been here all along, my family. Love you all…

I hate kids

It is no secret that I love Florida. The sights, the tourists, the smells, all of it I just love it. We are living temporarily in Saint Augustine, Florida and we are in a hornets nest of children. They are young children, each house in our neighborhood having the requisite 3 to 4 children each. I didn’t think I disliked children, but guess what I do! I would like to beat most of their asses. Oh sure there are the little cute ones that are to young to irritate me but I can see it in their eyes they are just going to grow into irritating lil shits. But that is not what I wanted to discuss here. I wanted to discuss the schools of Florida.
Growing up in the Midwest there were standards that we all adhered to. There were no children out and about during the weekdays from the early morning until at least 3pm. Some of us would stay even later at school for practices or detention and not get home until much later. If there was a child out of school during these times there had better be a good reason. On the few occasions I had to go to the orthodontist it was quite apparent there were no other children around during this time because they all were in school.
Now here in the beautiful Sunshine state the children are always milling about at all times of the day. Monday at 11am in wal-mart there will be children running around. Wednesday 1pm there will be children playing in the streets with their friends. There is no time that you are safe from the little bastards they are everywhere. When I was a child they had something called a truancy officer. It was this person’s responsibility to make sure that the kids that were missing school were accounted for. This would be unrealistic here because no one knows when the kids are supposed to be in school. I think the schools here just send up a bat signal and the kids decide if they want to go or not. The old school day of 8am to 3pm is dead and long live the “whatev” school day. So now those children who don’t want to go to school just blend in because there are children milling about everywhere all times of day. Later on I will discuss the traffic jams soccer moms create because their kids are to good to take the bus. I say beat’em until they start acting right – and I am talking about the moms

This little tidbit was a part of the SNL skit discussing Home schooling:

They have decided that parents who teach their children need to have credentials to do so. One home schoolers parent responded:
"This is just like what the Nazis did to the Pilgrims in 1876"

SNL hasn’t been funny for a long time but this had me rolling off the couch.

Just a Memory

What is it about dolphins? I have encountered them just a handful of times in my life. They are usually playing or chasing a meal just off the beach moving along at a leisurely pace paying no one any attention. When I see them everything stops. I stare and watch like something might happen I do not want to miss. When they disappear my eyes scan the horizon with expectations of where they may resurface and I fear missing the moment when they do.

We watched a sunrise today in Saint Augustine, Florida. Much like the dolphins I have only been audience to a handful of sunrises. Not being an early riser and when I am up that early, watching the sunrise is usually far from my thoughts. But much like encountering the dolphins when I see a sunrise, everything stops. It is a shame I have only seen a few of these sunrises. It would be a shame if I do not make it a priority to see more sunrises before I die. I actually had a few tears fall during this sunrise because of those whom I love not being able to enjoy something so magnificent with us.

During the sunrise a dolphin surfaced and played about 20 feet out into the ocean. The scene was surreal here are two things that command our attention and stop everything we are doing. No thoughts, no bills, no worries, nothing but S and I in that moment. I wondered afterwards what it is about these experiences that strike such a deep emotion in us. My efforts were futile I had no answer it is just one of those things.

We are from the Midwest and both were raised there. My whole experience with vacationing as a child was always going to visit relatives. Namely staying at Grandma and Grandpas for the summer. But one-summer things were different because it was the only summer we ever went on vacation to somewhere other than one of our relative’s homes.

The stars aligned and my life would be forever changed. My Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Raymond lived in Tallahassee, Florida and extended an invite to my family to come and stay for a few days on the way to Mickey’s place. I was 12 years old during the summer of 1984 and was stuck in the back of a brand new station wagon, that my dad was way to proud of, for the whole trip. We had to turn the a/c off to get up the mountains of Tennessee. I had no idea what I was going to see or what we were going to do in Florida. The parents kept me in the dark for some reason. Mostly because I was a hellion of a child I suppose.

When we arrived at my Aunt and Uncles house, who were my Aunt and Uncle by default. You see in my family like everyone else’s families in the Midwest if you are not Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandpa, then you are Aunt and Uncle by default. Anyway their house was one of those homes that children do not often visit and therefore are very uncomfortable for any child much like S’s moms house. I explored their home like it was another planet. There were seashells everywhere, big conchs, starfish, oddities I had never seen before. I was scared and interested at the same time. We sat down to dinner and I could tell they really wanted to expose us to their world. We had Brunswick stew, smoked mullet and some kind of dish I refused. The only shrimp I had ever seen was the popcorn shrimp at Bonanza back home after church. The Brunswick stew smelled horrible but the fish was really good. They sat around and talked about this and that, the way families did back then, and soon it was time to go to bed. Dorothy led me to the room I was to stay in which excited me that I was getting a room to myself. She got me settled and tucked me in and asked if I was ok. OK? I was great, I was so excited for the next day to start, and I wanted to go right to sleep. As she walked out of the room she turned to turn off the light and said to me, “You know that bed is the bed your Great Grandma Died in!” Holy shit I couldn’t believe the words that I had just heard. I was lying where my great grandma died. What kind of woman tells that to an 12-year-old boy? Needless to say sleep did not come easy that night.

Dorothy and Raymond had a surprise up their sleeve. You see they owned a house on St. Georges Island about an hour away from their house. We were going to stay there a few days before going to Mickey’s. No way! I was so stoked I didn’t know what to expect. I had never seen the ocean; the closest thing for me was a large lake. The drive there was boring until we went over the intercoastal and I could see everything from the top of the bridge. We pulled into a little beach house about a block off the beach it was up on stilts. Again this was all new to me. We went in and the house which was not children friendly but there was a pong video game that got me through a rainy day. We unpacked and immediately walked down to the beach. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I have never felt so small in my 12 years of life as I did next to that ocean. We went back to the house to get settled in so we could do some real beach time. Ants of course bit me and when I declared the ants were biting me I was told I was a liar by my mother until she got bit by the ants. That was awesome it felt so good to have retribution. If I could have, I would have personally thanked each of those ants for biting her.

The first time in the Gulf of Mexico for my family and me we had a couple of cheap floats. The waves were big, the ocean was big, and it was all so big. I was floating around and a wave caught me and off I went. What the hell just happened? That was awesome. For the rest of the day my dad and I rode the waves until we couldn’t stand. We were so sunburn and beat that by today’s standards the DCFS would have taken me away and put me in foster care. It was one of the best days of my life. During our stay there I was introduced to de-veining shrimp, homemade ice cream and how the dead sleep. The next evening we went to feed the seagulls, by the way only tourists feed the seagulls and there is a reason. One of the seagulls relieved themselves on my head and off I went back to the house to shower immediately, I was so upset to have been crapped on. Not until later was I told that being crapped on is good luck. (If being crapped on is good luck then my family is the luckiest sonsabitchs on the planet) My family must have had a good laugh I know I would have laughed up a storm to see that. I don’t ever remember a time before or after that when my family was as happy as they were there along the shores of the ocean. On our last day when most children would be excited to go to Disneyland I was bummed. I begged my father to drive us past the beach one last time before we left and he did. We were of course leaving real early in the morning because we are Midwesterners and that’s what we do, “we leave early.” What did we see? There they were playing, swimming here and there. I can’t remember how many there were but there was no doubt they were dolphins. Right there I could almost touch them, they were that close. When Dad said lets go I fell apart. I got in the car crying and looking back at the ocean trying to take it all in and fighting the thought that I may never see the ocean again. The rest of the trip sucked; to be honest I don’t remember much of it at all. I do remember the fear of never returning to Florida or to the ocean.

Today as I write this I have the same fear as I did when I was a 12-year-old boy. I now fear never living back on the Gulf of Mexico. I lived on the Gulf for years and moved away thinking it would be easy to return but it’s not easy to just go back, life happens. My family watched many people come to Pensacola beach and on their last day do the same thing my family did in 1984. They would come to the beach and say good-bye. I wonder if those kids feel the same way I did? For now I feel like that little boy and I am scared we might not make it back. Again I am so small……

The Blues miss the Playoffs?

I want to talk about the blues. No not the Navy Blue Angels, though they come from our hometown… Go Pensacola Florida! No not the smoky music you hear coming from a bar in New Orleans, though that is a favorite hang out of ours. No not the melancholy feeling we have when we are sad. I am talking about the NHL Saint Louis Blues. The baddest MF’in team in the NHL. This team has hypnotized its fans into bleeding blue. They have the most rabid fans in all of hockey. This is the only team whose fans feel have a shot at winning the game down 3 goals with 2 minutes left. Don’t try to talk global warming with these people; there is not a doomsayer among them. These people are born positivist, their glasses are always half full and their hockey team is always going to make the playoffs. The NHL playoffs you see are enough for any blues fan. No fan expects anything more than the team making the playoffs even if they lose in the first round, this is enough for the fans to yell from the rooftops that the “Blues are number One” even though they just lost in the first round of the playoffs. Remember you have to think positive to be a Blues fan.
The Saint Louis Blues were added to the NHL in 1967 and have never, I repeat never, won a Stanley Cup. Yet if you talk to their fans they swear that the blues did one time, they think, win the cup. This is pure snake oil to help them mask the hurt from their team always making the playoffs but never winning the big games. Now the team’s claim to fame as I stated is to make the playoffs. If you meet any Blues fan they will tell you that the Blues have made the playoffs 35 times in 39 tries. The law of averages should have been in their favor at some point but as a good friend stated, “Once you cite the law of averages things have gotten to bad to save.”

I used to love to say the Blues made the playoffs until I looked at the math. There are 30 thirty teams in the NHL and 16 sixteen make the playoffs. This means you just have to beat the teams that suck to get in the playoffs. What the hell? This is too much for me. So I will leave you with this parting thought…

Chris Pronger Rules and the Blues Rock. See you at Hooters Chris for wings…Go Blues….

THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND.....PRONGER